Alright, I need to say this. I hope Shaun Alexander proves me wrong. That’s right, I’ll come out and say it. I hope Shaun puts up the kind of numbers that make me and my article look like the dumbest thing since Michael Vick opened up Bad Newz Kennels. That being said, why?! Why is Shaun Alexander starting? Why does Coach Holmgren continue to toy with my fragile emotions?

Seattle’s running game hasn’t showed up all season. Seattleites have a better chance of seeing David Stern back the “Keep the Sonics in Seattle” movement than they do seeing a consistent running back in the Seahawks’ backfield. I’m not trying to criticize the running backs here. The majority of Seattle’s problems come from the offensive line. The only thing they are good at is being offensive, they offend just about everyone all the time (thanks Eric Cartman).

So why is putting Alexander in the backfield a bad idea? Let me tell you… Once upon a time, Shaun Alexander was a great running back. That was due in part to the fact that he had two perennial Pro Bowl offensive linemen (Walter Jones and Steve Hutchinson) but that was also due to the fact that with a decent line, Alexander is a phenomenal runner. Fast forward to this year. Alexander isn’t running the ball very well. Matter-of-fact, a drunk hobo could probably do a better job than Alexander has this season. This is because that when put behind a mediocre offensive line (Seattle’s isn’t even this good), Alexander is about as effective as a cardboard cutout. Looks good in your game room, yes. Good at getting yards (and/or touchdowns), no. This isn’t so much an attack on Alexander himself, but more an attack on Alexander’s style. He has been dubbed a “patient” runner. Coaches have even gone as far to call him a “creative” runner. Patience and creativity are great if you’re at the DMV or painting an abstract, but they won’t help if your O-line gets owned on a regular basis.

By now all you Maurice Morris fans are probably starting to cry, “What about MoMo? He’s doing great! I hope he answers my fan mail!” First off, you all make me sick. “MoMo” sucks. His slightly impressive 4.2 yards per rush average has come against some of the worst rush defenses in the league. Since he took over for Alexander, Morris has faced San Francisco (24th ranked defense), Chicago (29th), and St. Louis (19th). The only reason Morris has had success (I use that term lightly, very lightly), is because his style allows him to bust off a 20-yard run occasionally. Trust me, he’s no Barry Sanders. So keep your MoMo for President signs in your damn garage and shut the hell up.

Regardless, this still all comes down to the play of the offensive line. In their defense, while they aren’t the best at run blocking, they do a pretty darn good job at pass blocking. You want to know what doesn’t do a good job at pass blocking? An arm cast. What else you might ask? A Shaun Alexander! What will we have in the backfield the majority of the game? The combination of an arm cast and a Shaun Alexander. In an offense that advertises the fact that they pass the ball more often than not (good move Walrus), one thing you don’t want is a blocker that is more akin to one of those paper banners teams run through at the beginning of games. Wait till Alexander is healthy. I beg you. I have never seen a team try to sabotage themselves so much (minus the Arizona Cardinals). I honestly cry myself to sleep at night.

It is simple. If you want to win games, you stick the biggest, most pass catchingest, bestest blockingest back you have. That my friends is Leonard Weaver. Will Holmgren do this? No. Will Holmgren consume a diet of polar cod and soft-shelled crustaceans and sun himself on the beach (typical walrus behavior)? Yes.

When I read headlines like “Alexander to start vs. Eagles”, I really feel like I’m taking crazy pills.